But I also knew, deep down, that the parting was best for Gaynor. If our situation really was making her ill, then I simply had to step back and release her. True love isn’t selfish and so I had to let her go. But, I couldn’t help thinking that the hand I’d been dealt was cruel and perverse. Twice I’d said goodbye to the real love of my life. Bloody hell! After our meal, Veronica was her usual contented self, watching television, but I couldn’t relax, couldn’t concentrate. “I’m going up to my office,” I declared and Veronica just smiled and nodded her head. Morosely, I read through all the messages in my special GR folder. It didn’t help, I just became even more entrenched in misery. At one point, the question flickered through my mind: Why don’t you leave Veronica and set up with Gaynor? But I couldn’t do that. Not to the woman who’d borne my children, who loved me and had been a great supportive companion and friend for so many years. We’d shared so much and, at this time in our. There are two in particular.One is a woman in California, my age, who taught me that life is NOT over when you are 28 and seemingly out of options. There are plenty of options and lots of fun to be had, and lots of things to be discovered about our personal selves, and our sexual selves. She made me realize I could feel like a young woman, and even dream of becoming a young bride again. All of this because she dared to do things a little on the edge, and give me blow by blow accounts. She made me think, THAT COULD BE ME.As low and as stripped of life as I was, she made me smile, she made me wonder, she made me feel sexual again (I didn't think that would ever be possible). Thank You G, I love you.The other was an older man from across the pond, who had related a similar story to mine that was experienced by his sister. He wanted so to comfort me, but was so afraid of sounding like he was coming on to me. He just wanted me to know that my pain was shared by others and that, like it or.
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